As France rejoins NATO, a humorous reminder of why we never missed them

放個無關棒球的，因為還蠻好笑的XD

英國佬寫的...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ ... er-missed-them.html


What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

The army.

如何稱呼10萬名舉起雙手的法國佬

ans：法軍

Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?

Germans like to march in the shade.

為什麼法國有那麼多林蔭大道

ans：因為德國人喜歡在樹蔭下行軍 (普魯士部隊俘虜法皇後在凡爾賽宮建國、二戰元首輕易打下法國)

Why did it take Germany three days to conquer France in World War II?

Because it was raining.

為什麼德軍在二戰時花了三天才攻下法國

ans：下雨行軍緩慢...

Why did the French give America the Statue of Liberty?

Because she has only one arm raised.

為什麼法佬送給老美自由女神像

ans：因為他只舉一支手 (法國人都舉雙手投降)

Why do the French get more votes in the U.N.?

They vote with both hands.

為什麼法國佬在聯合國都能拿到更多的票數

ans：他們都舉雙手

Why is the French fighter plane called the Mirage?

It doesn't exist.

為什麼法國的戰鬥機稱為''幻象''

ans：根本不存在

Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

為什麼法國的迪士尼樂園沒有煙火秀

ans：因為每次放煙火時，法國人：投降...

What does 'Maginot' mean in German?

Welcome!

Maginot在德語的意思？

ans：Welcome...(Maginot Line在一戰後被譽為全世界最嚴密的防線，結果二戰時德軍直接繞過Maginot Line，從荷蘭那邊殺進來...)

Why is the French Foreign Legion the only decent fighting force in the whole French Army?

Because it's made up of foreigners.

為什麼法軍的外籍軍團是法軍中最像樣的部隊？

ans：因為這支部隊全部由非法國人組成

What's the shortest book ever written?

French War Heroes.

最簡短的書籍是....？

ans：法國戰爭英雄的書籍(因為法國人幾乎都打敗戰....)

What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?

How to surrender in at least ten languages.

法國部隊在基本訓練中所教的第一堂課是...？

ans：如何使用最少十種語言投降

What is the most useful thing in the French Army?

A rear-view mirror, so they can see the war.

什麼是對法軍最有益的東西

ans：後照鏡，這樣他們才能看到戰爭

Why does Nike like the French Army?

Because in wartime they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.

為什麼NIKE喜歡法軍

ans：因為他們是戰時跑步鞋最大的買家...

Why did the French celebrate their World Cup in 1998 so wildly?

It was their first time they won anything without outside help

為什麼拿下98年世界盃後法國人那麼爽

ans：這是什麼第一次不靠外人幫助贏得事物 (不過包括Zinedine Zidane在內的一堆球星其實是Albania裔...)

What did the mayor of Paris say to the German army as they entered the city in World War II?

'Table for 100,000, monsieur?'

德軍在二戰進入巴黎時，市長對德軍說了啥？

ans：需要10萬張椅子嗎？先生...(monsieur是法國人對男性的''尊稱'')

Why are the French afraid of war?

You would be, too, if you had never won one.

為什麼法國人害怕戰爭？

ans：當然，假如你從沒贏過的話...

Did you hear about the French admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died?

Five sailors died digging his grave.

聽過有關法國海軍將官想要在死後埋葬於大海的事嗎？

ans：五個水手死於挖掘墓穴的過程中 (因為法國人很笨)

What's the best thing about being French?

You can surrender at the beginning of the war and somebody else will win it for you.

身為法國人最美妙的事情...

ans：你可以在戰爭一開戰就投降，然後其他國家會為你贏得戰爭

'I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.'

General George S. Patton.

我寧願見到有一個德軍師在我前面，也不要有在我的部隊後面跟著一個法國師---語出自美軍上將George S. Patton

How do the French advertise surplus World War II rifles for sale?

'Never fired, only dropped once.'

如果要拍賣二戰遺留的法軍步槍，應該如何宣傳？

ans：從沒開火，僅僅被丟棄一次